“God, please increase my faith.”
You know, I really should’ve had a better idea of what this prayer would bring. After all, I’ve been a Christian since I was 5. I said it a few months ago, before Stuart and I started raising support. And I had the worst attitude. A few days before I said this prayer, I was telling (or better described: complaining to) a friend how it felt like God always provided in huge ways for everyone else, but not for me. I’ve heard stories about God providing free cars for people, five or ten thousand dollar checks for needed support or money out of nowhere, student loans paid off by grandparents, etc. One friend even had doctors take care of all the costs of her pregnancy and birth for FREE. Wow. But as I told my friend, “that stuff just doesn’t happen for me.” Welcome to my pity party.
Then I said the above prayer. With expectations that of course it wouldn’t happen and my faith (and really my God) would end up staying just as small as it was at that moment.
Right before Stuart and I went to Orlando for Cru training we were talking about our goals for raising support. Stuart said he wanted to have 50% of our support raised by the time we went to live with his parents at Thanksgiving. I told him he was crazy. Now, to give him some credit, (since it does sound slightly crazy to have 50% of our overall support raised in 2ish months…) we started off with 25% of our support raised since I was already on staff. So basically he wanted to raise 25% of our support between September and Thanksgiving. I still told him he was crazy. He also made some other, I’ll call them “faith-based goals,” regarding our support, all of which I told him he was crazy. In the back of my mind, I knew God COULD do what he was hoping for, but those kind of things just didn’t happen to me. (I know I sound like the worst Christian right now, but try not to judge me…)
Well, over the past month and a half, God has totally rocked my world. He’s moved mountains. Person after person is coming on our support team for immensely generous amounts in monthly support, and people we never expected to be able to give, are giving more than ever.
And another amazing “mountain” was moved just this past weekend. We received an email regarding a large donation being given for our ministry (the best kind of email ever) for $3,000!!! Um WHAT?!?!?! And we never even said a word to this couple. They heard about our ministry from their son who is a friend of ours. Add that to the other large amounts that have come in this week and God has raised $6,200 in special donations JUST THIS WEEK.
Wow God, I see you. I hear you. I feel you!
Like I said, my faith was totally rocked. God displayed his immense power and provision, and humbled the heck out of me. It’s amazing to me that even though I was praying that prayer expecting God to not answer, He answered it anyway. I was basically saying, “God increase my faith, but you probably won’t.” And God answered, “You just wait and see what I can do.”
I love what Jesus has to say about faith. In Matthew 17 (the verse in the above picture) He talks about how even a mustard seed-sized faith can do the impossible. Unfortunately, when I prayed that prayer, my faith was probably that small, maybe even half of a mustard seed. (And there’s not many things that are smaller than a mustard seed.) Stuart on the other hand, had great faith. He knew that God could do big things, and he not only prayed for them, he expected God to follow through. I want to have great faith like him. I’m sad that this time it took me seeing it to believe it. I’ve always known prayer works, but I allowed the deceiver to get in my head and convince me God couldn’t do what I was asking of Him. I’m so glad my great God proved me and the devil wrong. From now on, may I have unswerving faith the size of 100 billion mustard seeds!
“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”