Let me be straight with you. I haven’t gotten the flu yet this year, but I’ve been suffering from another type of “fever.” BABY FEVER. I know, a lot of you moms out there will tell me to not rush it, take my time, enjoy the calm silence of no screaming kids, and to spend as much time just Stuart and me as possible. And I’ll be honest. I really am enjoying it just being Stuart and me (and Stell). But at the same time suffering from this horrid fever.
Over the past few months, one of my best friends, 2 of my cousins, my sister-in-law and numerous friends have all had babies. Not to mention the troves of friends and acquaintances who have been announcing their pregnancies on Facebook. Of course seeing those announcements makes me dream of the day I can make my own announcement. And holding all those new, soft, squishy babies makes me long for the day I will hold one of my own. But you know what else? I also know that right now isn’t the right time. Some of you other parents may also be thinking, “it’ll never be the right time.” Ok, I can agree with that…you’re never fully 100% ready for a baby. But there are also really BAD times to add to your family.
- Stuart and I are living with his parents while we fundraise for our ministry.
- As stated above, we are raising support and living on VERY little.
- We have only been married for 15 months, and still enjoying a second year of “newlywed” life.
- We are going to Disney World at the end of March with my family, and I’d rather enjoy the rides with Stuart since he’s never been, than stand on the sidelines watching the fun, fighting morning sickness and possibly being downright miserable.
However, even knowing all those things, my fever is still high. But in all honesty, I know that this isn’t a matter of baby or no baby. It’s a matter of being content. Another honest moment: I am not very good at being content. I bore easily. Which is crazy, because on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of change. (Don’t ask how that makes sense…)
I’m always looking forward to the next thing, which in this culture is not hard to do. With a new iPhone released every year, clothing trends changing every season, and basically bigger and better of everything available like a week after the previous one was released, it’s hard to not get sucked into wanting the next thing. Like most women, when Stuart and I were dating, I couldn’t wait to get a ring. When we were engaged, I was counting down the weeks, days, hours until I became a Mrs. Now that we’re married, I’ve been anticipating having a big ole’ baby bump. Even just reading that I want to tell myself to seriously SLOW DOWN. Enjoy each day. Enjoy each moment.
I think being content is something that many people strive for, but not many people “accomplish.” But one person who I believe accomplished true contentment, is Paul from the Bible. And his “secret” is one of the most well known verses in the Bible.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
In matters of contentment, I don’t think it’s possible to do it myself. Living in a world that is constantly shoving the next best thing in our faces and telling us what we have isn’t good enough, even the strongest would crumble. That’s where Jesus comes in. He is the one who gives us the strength to be content. He faced many temptations while in the desert for 40 days, but chose to be content in what God called him to. Let’s be real, it’d be INSANELY difficult to be content with hunger and thirst while someone was reminding you that at the snap of your finger, multitudes of angels would appear with a feast and the most perfectly chilled water. But he said no. He remained strong. He knew there was a greater reason for his hunger and thirst, and he trusted his Father to provide for his needs, even when his needs seemed overwhelming.
In Hebrews 13, we’re told to keep our lives free from the love of money and to be content with what we have, because God has told us that He will never leave or forsake us. Basically God is saying, “I’m better and more satisfying than anything you can buy with money. I can provide more for you than every ‘next best thing’ at the Apple store.” (Biblical translation by me.)
I think the idea is that there will always be something else out there better than what you have. There will always be a new iPhone released that’s better than the one you have, (if you have one…) there will always be someone with better clothes, there will always be more babies to be had. (And newer/better gadgets and clothes for those babies. The list could go on forever!) But those things will never satisfy us. So many of us say things like, “if only I had an iPhone, my life would be made,” or “if only I was a mom, my life would matter more.” Unfortunately, once those things happen, the expected satisfaction doesn’t match what we actually experience. God is the only one who can give us the kind of contentment and satisfaction that is full and complete.
So I’m going to chose to lean on my God to help me be content in all things. All my needs, wants, and yes even the right time to start a family. I cannot wait to be a mom, to hold a little squishy baby of my own, and to see Stuart as a dad. (Because if being an uncle is any indication, he is definitely going to be a bomb dad.) I know that in my life, when I’ve waited on the Lord, things always turn out better than times that I’ve rushed things and made them happen in my own timeline. God is good, and his plans are best.
“The fear of the Lord leads to life;
then one rests content, untouched by trouble.”