My youngest son, Zeke, is 3 months old, and we still have yet to take his 2 or 3 month pictures. You know the ones you take each month to see how they look each month through their first year? Yup, we’re off to a fabulous start. When I was pregnant with Zeke, other moms of multiples would tell me all the time how different it’d be this time around, since it’s not just a baby, but a baby AND a toddler.
There are many things that have felt easier this time around…for example, I don’t experience the paranoia of having absolutely NO idea what I’m doing, since I’ve been through it before. [Not that that covers everything 2nd time around, but there’s a more relaxed feeling to motherhood this time around.] But there are also many difficult things, and many things that just become a new part of your normal. So here are 10 of my confessions as a 2nd time mom:
- I know all the words to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Mickey and the Roadster Racers. Knox goes back and forth between these 2 shows mostly, and I’m pretty sure he could watch the same episode on repeat, he loves Mickey Mouse so darn much. But I’m pretty sure Mickey helped teach him his shapes so me and Mickey are tight.
- I’ve pretty much given up on doing monthly pictures. I still have the hope of one day making baby books for my boys, but poor Zeke is just not going to be able to see in a nice side by side comparison how much he changed from month to month. Sorry buddy.
- I live in yoga pants and nursing tank tops and I can’t really remember the last time I wore a real bra. My blogger friend recently wrote a post about her new mom style, and I commented saying I’m pretty sure being a mom has totally killed my style. I live in athleisure [which is a fancy way of saying I live in yoga pants and sweatshirts, and my hair is up in a “sporty” [ahem, dirty] bun every single day.]
- It has been a lot easier in some ways to transition to 2 than to 1…you’re already in “mom mode” and you know more of what to expect.
- It’s also a lot harder in some ways…you can’t sleep when the baby sleeps, you have to stay active with your toddler, so a lot of nursing sessions are done in public, and getting out the door with 2 takes 10x as long. That math doesn’t add up, but it’s reality.
- You have to REALLY make an effort to spend time with your husband. I thought I was tired after 1 kid, but 2 kids zap every single ounce of your energy, so by the time hubs gets home from work, and you’re through dinner and bedtime, most nights you just want to collapse into bed. But marriage is too important to let flounder, so it’s worth the effort to dig up some energy where you didn’t think any existed and chat, snuggle and “you know” with your husband.
- For the first few months of Zeke’s life, [or as some call it, the “4th trimester”] I hated my dog. When you have 2 little people clawing for your attention, and a husband to fit in somewhere, you just don’t have any capacity for one more thing touching, licking, jumping on or snuggling with you. Not to mention one more thing to feed, bathe, take out and play with. There were multiple days where I asked Stuart if we could give her away. I know. I’m horrible. But I’m just being honest! But now that Zeke is sleeping better, and I’m finding that I can function at a semi-normal level, I’ve really come back around to loving her. She’s definitely not the baby she once was to me, but I can once again enjoy snuggling, petting and playing with her.
- The heartache of watching Knox grow up before my eyes is made a little easier by having another baby in the house. Knox just switched from his crib to a bed, and it was one of those emotional, “oh my goodness he’s not my baby anymore,” moments. He’s talking more, he’s running more like a big kid and less like he’s doing mini high-knees, he sometimes calls me “mom” where he used to only call me “mama” or “mommy,” and he’s just so clearly not a baby anymore. And although this is still emotional, it’s made a little easier when I can snuggle Zeke, smother his face with kisses, and rock him until he falls asleep in my arms. Although I’m also realizing that Zeke is definitely not an itty, bitty newborn anymore, and that just makes me want another newborn…don’t tell Stuart! ;)
- Sometimes [cough, a lot of times] I screen my calls. [Insert hiding face in hands emoji here.] This goes back to the whole no-capacity-for-my-dog-thing. A lot of days during nap time, I just need quiet, or mindless Netflix, or to eat my lunch in peace without a small person asking for 3/4 of it even though he just ate an entire lunch himself. Sometimes I’m doing laundry, or reading, or spending time with God. And sometimes as much as I love to chat with people, I just need to be alone. [BUT sometimes I honestly don’t have my phone within reach, so if you call and I don’t pick up, please don’t assume I’m screening you…I might be, but you’ll never know ;)]
- Having kids was seriously the best thing I ever did. [Aside from accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and marrying the love of my life.] Every day has its ups and downs, and my 2 year old is entering a season of pushing his boundaries and my buttons, but motherhood is simply so wonderful. I believe it’s a calling, so if it’s not for you, that doesn’t make you any lesser of a woman, because it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. It’s trying and messy, and tiring, but it’s the greatest thing I feel like I could ever hope to do with my life. And even when he’s being super defiant, I couldn’t love my toddler more than I do every moment of every day. And even though I had no clue how I could ever love another human being more than I loved my toddler, I am head over heels in love with my 3 month old. Your heart literally just grows to hold both of them equally as much, even when it doesn’t seem like there’s any love left to give because you could burst with how much you already love. I already know I want more kids, and I’d probably have 10 if it didn’t mean we’d need a church van to drive them all around. [No offense if you own one of those…mothers with that many children amaze me!] Anyway, all that to say, 2nd time around is different, but just as wonderful as the 1st time around. It’s so fun to see how siblings interact, love each other and grow into their own little personalities. And I couldn’t be more thankful to have been chosen as the mother who gets to raise these sweet boys of mine.